Hmm.Imagine how *you* would feel if a man did not call you to say thanks the
day after you cooked dinner for him.Even a day's delay would make you wonder.There's a
spiritual principle at work here that says that you get more of whatever you focus
on and give your energy to.So if you want men to make more home-cooked meals
for you, thank them profusely for that.If you want them to call you early and
often, call them early and often.Energy flows where attention goes.As Gandhi once said memorably, "Be
the change you want to see in the world."So Amelia's expectation that he give her
acknowledgment and attention even though she's reluctant to volunteer that herself doesn't really work in
the long run.Which brings us to the fourth point:"Anyway he is just out of a
4 year relationship in June and is 2 times divorced and has 2 kids one
from each marriage."Divorced *twice* already? To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, to lose one marriage is rather
unfortunate.To lose two seems downright careless.And two kids? Now, I don't know exactly what the
situation is here.And there are always extenuating circumstances around such things.However, I firmly believe in
setting yourself up for success.The question Amelia (and everyone else reading this) has to ask
is this:"Is this person likely to be a long-term source of fulfillment for me?" Or,
more simply: "Let's say he does call.Let's say he does ask me out again.Is this
really what I'm looking for?"Sometimes we get caught in a cycle of scarcity and forget
to evaluate what's on offer.As Kahlil Gibran said in 'The Prophet:'"Verily tn requin when good is hungry
it seeks food even in dark caves, and when it thirsts, it drinks even of
dead waters."I'm here to remind you of the principle of abundance -- that there is
no reason ever to get hungry.Even when you think you have no options, you do.There
are thousands upon millions of potential companions out there.And the universe is a reflection of
your dominant mindset.If you think abundantly -- "There are so many wonderful people out there
that I could be meeting!" then the universe will agree with you and give you
abundance.If you think with scarcity -- "Woe is me!There's only one right person for me
and I'll never meet him" -- then the universe will agree with you also.So this
man could be anywhere from dreamboat to nightmare -- I have no idea.What I ask
is that you evaluate each person on his own merits. He has an MD from
UC San Diego Medical School, an MPhil from Cambridge University and an AB from Harvard
College. I know that I deserve someone to treat me well and he did that
but I don't understand the not calling thing. I guess I'm just going move on
and keep working on myself and grow and hopefully attract someone who does call and
does make plans to spend time with me. Otherwise, he's getting no information on *your*
interest level.Better then to wait for you to make the next move.There's also a side
point I'd like to make here.Amelia almost didn't call the man after the dinner.In fact,
in the letter she says she called nike tn him because her friends told her to. Any
advice would be appreciated."Well, here's my question for Amelia and the other ladies reading this:
What do *you* want?Sure, he hasn't called you (yet).And the only thing that means is
that he hasn't called you (yet).But did you have a good time?Do you want to
see him again?You have a voice, so use it!You see, the year is 2009.Sitting by
the phone waiting for it to ring is so 1956.Besides, he took the risk of
asking you out and already put in the effort to entertain you and take care
of you.If you were already in a partnership with him, would you just sit there,
waiting for him to offer and give again, while you just take?While he takes all
the risk?Doesn't really seem fair, does it.Yet I've found that many women misconstrue this 'taking
of turns' as a lack of interest.Here's an easy way of understanding what's going on:
put yourself in the shoes of the guy.He's put his ego on the line once
already and asked you out -- to his place, no less.He's cooked for you.What are
his options now?If he asks you out again, he could look too eager, especially if
it's to his place.Which brings us to the third point.His not calling you after two
days does not necessarily mean he's "pulling away."If he's smart and respects himself (and has
read my books), he'll wait to see if you reciprocate his hospitality. So are you
guys curious as to how the story ends?Here's what happened next:"Okay so I called him
and left him a message yesterday afternoon that I would like to see him again.Update...he
did call and left a message this morning that he thinks we are looking for
different things in a relationship and not the right fit."You know what?That's a great result.Because
instead of just sitting around, wondering what the heck is going on, now Amelia knows
exactly where she stands.I believe that uncertainty is the least pleasant emotion of them all.Luckily,
its antidote is simple: TAKE ACTION.And that's what Amelia did.She called, got a response, and
got the information she needed.Now she's free to spend her precious time and energy somewhere
else.The power is within you,Dr AlexDr Alex Benzer is the author of 'The Tao of
Dating: The Thinking Man's Guide to Success with Women', the companion booklets 'The Tao of
Sexual Mastery' and 'The Tao of Social Networking', and the audio course 'The Tao of
Persuasion'. "Am I jumping the gun thinking he's not interested? Just seems if he really
liked me and I got the impression he did why has he not called."Well, I've
seen a guy who's not interested, and it looks different from this (I should know
-- I've *been* that guy).A guy who's really not interested is across the room, talking
to someone else, completely unaware of your existence.He is not inviting you over, cooking dinner
for you and cuddling with you.The most accurate gauge of people's thoughts are their behaviors,
so watch what he does.Which brings us to the second point:"I've never understood why guys
do this. He is a certified clinical hypnotherapist and NLP Master Practitioner based in Los
Angeles..
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